American Jekyll, Filipina Hyde

My wife is pretty easy-going, with a couple of notable exceptions:

1) Filipino Gatherings
When hanging out with my American (mostly white) friends and coworkers, she has a good time but becomes more of an observer. The ride home from these activities is often more entertaining than the actual party, because she always has hilarious observations about the evening. At Filipinos parties, however, she turns into the life of the party. She uses an assortment of funny Tagalog expressions, according to my Filipino friends. I sometimes wonder if she's making fun of me, but she knows (at least she does now) our friends will tattle on her if she does.

2) Boxing and Football
Boxing - Whenever Manny Pacquiao fights, my wife and I make that a priority. A couples weekends ago, we missed a friend's birthday party and drove 90 minutes to watch the Pacquiao-Cotto fight at a Filipino party in Corona. As soon as the fight started, my wife started freaking out! She yelled at the TV, did push-ups (she was sore for two days afterword), and jumped and screamed like a crazy person. I'd like to say this is an isolated incident, but evidence points to the contrary.

Football - By now, our neighbors must be used to the yelling coming from our apartment on Saturday mornings in the fall. As recently as a couple years ago, I was the only crazed armchair quarterback yelling at the TV while the Wolverines sunk to new depths of mediocrity. But eventually, like the steady erosion that enabled the Colorado River to form the Grand Canyon, my psychotic obsession with college football infected my impressionable Third World* wife and turned her into a terrifying pigskin hooligan (*wife-approved term). These days, we take turns criticizing the refs, coaches, announcers, players, cheerleaders and fans at The Big House.

Filipino Parties - A White Guy's Perspective

I've been to a few Filipino fetes and have some observations. Whatever the occasion (holiday, birthday party, memorial, boxing match), expect the following:

1) The dining room table isn't for dining - Typically the table is so loaded down with grub that guests have to retreat to an open seat, plate on lap.
2) Paper plates - I know Filipino families have real plates (brought out for formal occasions), but paper plates, plastic forks and knives and plastic cups are standard operating procedure.
3) TFC - It's on the TV, sound up or down, for the whole party. The only programming to supercede TFC is a Manny Pacquiao fight or item 4).
4) Magic Mic - Plug it into your TV and it's Karaoke in da house!
5) Thirsty for a soft drink? You don't have to make the long trek all the way to the fridge, because a two-liter bottle of your favorite tasty beverage is right there on the table! This is often the case with condiments as well.
6) Beer - The hosts are always handing me a can or bottle when I walk in the door. I guess they figure I'm just another binge-drinking white boy, or maybe they just feel sorry for me because I don't speak Tagalog and getting a buzz on must be the best way to pass the time. On more than one occasion, I've ended up drinking beer and watching TFC while my wife chats it up with her friends.
7) Food pushers - The same people plying me with beer are handing me a plate and telling me to "eat, eat." I suppose it'd be an insult to not partake, but I plan to NEVER make that mistake. Word to the wise, fast for a few hours before a Filipino party and bring Tupperware if you don't feel like leaving empty-handed.

There's more where that came from. Stay tuned for future updates.