Saturday, November 21, 2009

American Jekyll, Filipina Hyde

My wife is pretty easy-going, with a couple of notable exceptions:

1) Filipino Gatherings
When hanging out with my American (mostly white) friends and coworkers, she has a good time but becomes more of an observer. The ride home from these activities is often more entertaining than the actual party, because she always has hilarious observations about the evening. At Filipinos parties, however, she turns into the life of the party. She uses an assortment of funny Tagalog expressions, according to my Filipino friends. I sometimes wonder if she's making fun of me, but she knows (at least she does now) our friends will tattle on her if she does.

2) Boxing and Football
Boxing - Whenever Manny Pacquiao fights, my wife and I make that a priority. A couples weekends ago, we missed a friend's birthday party and drove 90 minutes to watch the Pacquiao-Cotto fight at a Filipino party in Corona. As soon as the fight started, my wife started freaking out! She yelled at the TV, did push-ups (she was sore for two days afterword), and jumped and screamed like a crazy person. I'd like to say this is an isolated incident, but evidence points to the contrary.

Football - By now, our neighbors must be used to the yelling coming from our apartment on Saturday mornings in the fall. As recently as a couple years ago, I was the only crazed armchair quarterback yelling at the TV while the Wolverines sunk to new depths of mediocrity. But eventually, like the steady erosion that enabled the Colorado River to form the Grand Canyon, my psychotic obsession with college football infected my impressionable Third World* wife and turned her into a terrifying pigskin hooligan (*wife-approved term). These days, we take turns criticizing the refs, coaches, announcers, players, cheerleaders and fans at The Big House.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Filipinos and Small Dogs

Puppy Sitting
We're looking after our friend's Mini Pinscher mix, Junior, for the next eight days or so. Between poop-scooping and planning our weekend around this psychotic little ball of cuteness, I've come to the following conclusions...

1. Chicks, Filipino or Otherwise, Dig Tiny Dogs
If you have the personality of wallpaper and no game with the ladies, just borrow your friend's cute little dog for the weekend. The urine stains and chewed shoes will be offset by the date you just scored with that hot chick at the farmer's market who was lured in by your canine companion's charm.

2. Filipino-Americans Like Tiny Dogs
After we took Junior to Intelligentsia for coffee and croissants this morning, we stopped by Seafood City where I waited outside while the wife stocked up on SkyFlakes and NFA rice. Junior seemed to draw positive reactions from the Filipino families entering and exiting the market. One of the employees even stopped to explain that he owned a Chihuahua and was also selling Pug puppies. With small dog in tow, I had more interaction with a wider range of people than otherwise.

3. Having a Small Dog Makes Up for No Costume
The three of us did a tour de force of the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval last night and Junior stole the show. Even though I was too lazy to don a costume, attractive women dressed in risque garb (this blessed holiday gives otherwise shy women license to let it all hang out) were fawning all over our little visitor.

4. Dogs Are Great to Own and Even Better to Borrow
We've babysat Junior on a few occasions now and giving him back is always a little bittersweet. But we also appreciate the freedom not actually owning a dog affords.